THE T. ROCKS ELVIS INTERVIEW

TR:  Elvis, congratulations on your American Idol duet with Celine Dion.

EP:  Thank you very much.

TR:  You’re considered the very first American Idol. Was it hard to get

  back on stage again after all those years?

EP:  Do you have any doughnuts?

TR:  Uh… there might be some around here.

EP:  Do you have the kind with cream in ’em?

TR:  I don’t know.

EP:  ’Cause I like cream. Well, I like jelly, too.

TR:  You and Celine sang “If I Can Dream,” from your 1968 Comeback

  Special. Was it your idea to sing it?

EP:  That was the producers.' I wanted to do “Jesus Take the Wheel."

TR:   Idol did tributes to Diana Ross and Gwen Stefani. Of all the

  tributes to you since you left the business, what’s your favorite?

EP:  That would have to be “Fight the Power.”

TR: By Public Enemy?

EP: Yeah. “Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me."

  I love it. The next time I do Vegas, I’m gonna use that instead of

  "Also Sprach Zarathustra.”

TR: What did you think of Paul Simon’s “Graceland”?

EP: I don’t know. Why’d he write a song about my house? Do I go

  writing a song about his place in the Hamptons?

TR:  So now that you're back, what's next?

EP:  I'm going on the Rachael Ray show. I'm gonna show her how to fry

  up a peanut buttter and banana sandwich. One stick of butter.

TR:  Any new projects?

EP:  I'm doing a new reality show. It's Blue Hawaii meets The Bachelor.  I call it

  Who Wants to Be the Next Cilla?

TR:  So where have you been all these years?

EP:  I’ve been on eBay.

TR:  Do you have a good rating?

EP:  99.5%. 50,000,000 eBay users can’t be wrong.

TR:  Well, there you have it, folks. Elvis has left the website.

EP:  Nope, I'm still here. Are you gonna eat that cruller?

— Dr. Lester S. Carboni

Not to be confused with Jaime Pressly, Elvis Presley went from humble beginnings as the king of rock and roll to even greater glory as the world’s first Elvis impersonator.

Sun Records owner Sam Phillips is rumored to have said, “If I could find a white man with the Negro feel, I could make a million dollars.”

What he really said was, “If I could find a white man with the Negro feel, I could sell his contract to RCA and they could make a million dollars.”

Elvis went on to pioneer rock and roll, country and western, and peanut butter and banana. To date he has racked up more hits, movies and calories than any other performer. He lived at Graceland until his death in 1977 and for several years after that.

  Not the king.

1. Also Sprach Zarathustra --

   André Previn & Wiener

  Philharmoniker

2. That's All Right --

  Arthur "Big Boy" Crudup

3. Elvis Welcomes the

  Audience (08/24/69) --

  Elvis Presley

4. Hound Dog -- Big Mama

  Thornton

5. Don't Be Cruel -- Cheap Trick

6. Suspicious Minds -- Fine

  Young Cannibals

7. Viva Las Vegas -- Dead

  Kennedys

8. If I Can Dream -- Mojo Nixon

9. Crazy Little Thing Called

  Love -- Queen

10. Song of the King (From

  Joseph and the Amazing

  Technicolor Dreamcoat) --

  West End Concert Orchestra

  & Chorus

11. His Lamest Flame -- Mary

  Lou Lord

12. Elvis Is Everywhere -- Mojo

  Nixon

13. Elvis End Theme (Live) --

   Karaoke All Stars

14. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

  -- Lisa Marie Presley

15. Blue Moon -- Elvis Presley

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The Recalls

I see you driving down the street

In your car or truck

Your brakes don’t work

Your gas pedal is stu - uh uh, uh - uck

Here it comes again

Unwanted acceleration under the starry skies

Here it comes again

The CEO’s going to apologize

My best friend’s Toyotas

My best friend’s Toyotas

My best friend’s Toyotas

They used to not suck

(The gas pedal’s still…stuck)

– “My Best Friend’s Toyotas”

The Recalls are a new hybrid of two new automotive genres, Japanese decline and American malaise. Whereas previous artists such as Chuck Berry and Bruce Springsteen celebrated the romance of the automobile and the call of the open road, the Recalls sing of faulty electronics systems and sticky floor mats.

Songs include “Let the Complaints Roll,” “Bye Bye Lexus,” “You’re All I’ve Killed Tonight,” “Just What I Bleeded” and “I’m in Touch With Your Customer Relations Department.”

This is the Recalls’ first CD and also their last, because all CDs have been recalled as well as the Recalls themselves.

A spokesman for the group said, “You have my personal commitment that we will work vigorously and unceasingly to restore the trust of the people we have the most contempt for. I mean, our customers.”

– Dr. Lester S. Carboni

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