ALBUM REVIEW
Rick Majestic
The Kinkos
Music to stand around and not help customers by. “Girl, you really got me now, you got me so I can’t work at night” goes one song. “I believe that you and me last forever/I believe I work this copy machine never,” goes another.
Part of the original Xerox invasion of the early 60’s, the Kinkos’ distinctive fuzz toner and inspired paper jams collated fans by the reamful.
A mainstay of the record and copy shops, the Kinkos were the first group to combine incisive social commentary with weak customer service.
Today, anytime young workers stare vacuously at the people they’re supposed to be waiting on, they’re paying tribute to these guys.
You can order this reissue from the Kinkos themselves. But don’t expect it anytime soon.
– Dr. Lester S. Carboni
Another Dr. Lester S. Carboni and Rick Majestic Production
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Carly ended 40 years of Anticipation by revealing the person Who's So Vain is someone no one knows. Now when David Geffen hears the song, he can say, "I DO think it's about me and it is, it is, it IS about me."
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Rick Majestic
The Recession Era's Greatest Hits
The Recalls
I see you driving down the street
In your car or truck
Your brakes don’t work
Your gas pedal is stu - uh uh, uh - uck
Here it comes again
Unwanted acceleration under the starry skies
Here it comes again
The CEO’s going to apologize
My best friend’s Toyotas
My best friend’s Toyotas
My best friend’s Toyotas
They used to not suck
(The gas pedal’s still…stuck)
– “My Best Friend’s Toyotas”
The Recalls are a new hybrid of two new automotive genres, Japanese decline and American malaise. Whereas previous artists such as Chuck Berry and Bruce Springsteen celebrated the romance of the automobile and the call of the open road, the Recalls sing of faulty electronics systems and sticky floor mats.
Songs include “Let the Complaints Roll,” “Bye Bye Lexus,” “You’re All I’ve Killed Tonight,” “Just What I Bleeded” and “I’m in Touch With Your Customer Relations Department.”
This is the Recalls’ first CD and also their last, because all CDs have been recalled as well as the Recalls themselves.
A spokesman for the group said, “You have my personal commitment that we will work vigorously and unceasingly to restore the trust of the people we have the most contempt for. I mean, our customers.”
– Dr. Lester S. Carboni
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MASTERS OF DEBT
A folk song for the Econopolypse
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DO LOOK BACK
WE ASK PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE ABOUT CONCERTS THEY SAW 20 OR 30 YEARS AGO. HERE ARE WHAT THEY REMEMBER OF DAVID CASSIDY, JOHNNY CASH, THE THOMPSON TWINS, THE BEATLES AT SHEA STADIUM & MORE!
We have seen the future of rock and roll journalism and it is us.
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We celebrate current concerts by old greats and new, most of which never get written up anywhere. We review the whole experience, including the audience. Also the chicken fingers. We are redefining the review, as they say.
