Under My Tongue

TYRANNOSAURUS ROCKS: When were you born?

TONGUE: 1971. Me first album was Sticky Fingers.

TR: Was your father Andy Warhol?

T: No, he designed the zipper. Me dad is John Pasche. Lovely bloke. Also did some work for Jimi Hendrix.

TR: Do you keep in touch with other rock tongues?

T: Whenever we’re in L.A., I try to see Gene Simmons.’

TR: Didn't you do an all-star benefit song with other rock symbols?

T:  “We Are the Words, We Are the Logos.” We were raising money for people who don’t have laser printers.

TR: Who participated?

T: The Prince graphic. The Partridge Family partridge. I quite fancied her, but she came with the Grateful Dead skull, if you can believe that.

TR: Anyone else?

T: The ELO space ship. The Boston space ship. The Funkadelic space ship. Too many fucking space ships.

TR:  Do you make any contributions to the Stones' music?

T: I suggest licks.

TR:  Most logos haven't lasted as long as you. Any regrets?

T:  A lot of me friends are gone. I miss Elvis's fonts. Janis Joplin's lettering. Sinatra's punctuation.

TR:  Anyone outside of music?

T: Oh, sure. The TWA logo -- we used to vacation together.

TR: What's next for you?

T: I have a cameo in Pirates of the Caribbean 3. I play Johnny Depp's tongue's father. Type casting.

TR:  What's the biggest misconception about you?

T: That I'm always out. That's what the public sees. Most of the time I'm lolling around in me mouth.

TR: So is there satisfaction for the Rolling Stones Tongue?

T: Oh, yeah, man. I'm not bitter. I

mean, I am, but I'm also salty, sour, and sweet. Like the Stones. Have you got a cigarette?

 -- Interview by

  Dr. Lester S. Carboni

My earliest memories of the Stones were their ads in my older brother's National Lampoons – for Goats Head Soup, Made In The Shade and Black And Blue. Aside from Top 40 radio I didn't hear them much, as my brother was more into fusion jazz. I finally got them with Some Girls, the first LP I ever bought by an established rock act. It had such a cool jacket and so many great songs. For a time it was my favorite record.

At the Beacon, it was clear that the Stones are more than music. They are a fantasy lifestyle, a rock and roll Renaissance Fair. “The Stones have always

had great merchandise,” said a customer at a counter packed with belt buckles, cowboy hats, and a thousand different T-shirts. I bought a black one with four tongue logos.

In the lobby well-dressed women accessorized with tongue earrings, licensed to be bad for a night. A dozen guys in headscarves comprised the Cult of Keith, outnumbering the Mickalikes. Best Dressed went to the guy in full Gimme Shelter drag complete with cape and Uncle Sam hat.

I figured I'd be safe from any roving Hell's Angels in my $25 balcony seat. Online tickets had vanished instantly – getting into the 2,000-seat Beacon felt like Checkpoint Charlie – but this crowd was willing to do the work. They had the lazy, confident energy of Yankee Stadium in a crucial series. They'd been through this before, and were expecting a triumph.

Opening was Buddy Guy, who played the kind of electric blues that was once common in British economics schools. He's 70, looks 45 and played like a horny teenager. A preview of what was to come. In his blue track suit, he looked like he somehow snuck onstage, then found his way out, his guitar wailing for a long, long time.

Then the Rolling Stones came out and played a Rolling Stones concert.

The show was being filmed for yet another concert movie, this time with Scorsese directing. Which meant he just decided where to point the cameras. As far as performance goes, the Stones had that under control.

Like most acts, the Stones tie their tours to albums, but they played nothing from A Bigger Bang, which was a disappointment. The newness was supplied by two popular guest stars.

Jack White joined the band for “Loving Cup.” During the ordeal Mick played and smiled a lot.

Where I sat, no one cared. White's cardinal error was competing with the Stones on their own

turf, second-best in a white boy blues battle.

But Christina Aguilera really connected with Mick on “Live With Me.” She reminded you why

why Mick himself modeled his act on Tina Turner, and if Charlie (cancer), Ron (alcohol) and Keith (Keith)

somehow outlive their frontman, they should look her up.

The Stones played twenty songs and I knew most of them, either from albums, TV clips, New Wave cover versions or

bank commercials. “Faraway Eyes” from Some Girls was country fun with Mick promising something unusual, which turned out to be Ron on pedal steel.

Mick is the ringmaster, the cheerleader, the talk show host. Up top where I sat it seemed he did it all for me – Sinatra had that, too. If there had never been rock music, today he'd be touring with the Mick Jagger Orchestra.

In the middle Mick cleared the stage and Keith came out, as his fans – a clan within the tribe – hooted out his name.

His two-song set connected in an intimate way that is outside Mick's repertoire, which makes you wonder if that Jagger guy is really holding the Stones back.

For "Sympathy For The Devil" they turned on the red lights and Mick led the audience in an endless chorus of

woo-woo. That was the best. The show ended with “(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction,” but I will ignore the parenthetical from

now on. The performance that had been pre-assembled in my mind for so many years had been enacted in front of me.

Maynard Ferguson and Herbie Mann are gone. The last album my older brother bought was a Blue’s Clues 

compilation. But tonight, I was satisfied. I was part of the gang. I could wear my T-shirt.

Finally, I had earned my tongues. All four of them.

http://iorr.org

  “I can feel your tongue on mine, silky smooth like wine”

  – “Almost Hear You Sigh” (Steel Wheels, 1989)

  “I'm going red and my tongue's getting tied”

  – “Let’s Spend the Night Together” (Between the Buttons, 1966)

  “The opposition's tongue is cut in two”

  – “Undercover of the Night” (Undercover, 1983)

  “Lead guitars and movie stars get their tongues beneath your hood”

  – “Star Star” (Goats Head Soup, 1973)

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The Recalls

I see you driving down the street

In your car or truck

Your brakes don’t work

Your gas pedal is stu - uh uh, uh - uck

Here it comes again

Unwanted acceleration under the starry skies

Here it comes again

The CEO’s going to apologize

My best friend’s Toyotas

My best friend’s Toyotas

My best friend’s Toyotas

They used to not suck

(The gas pedal’s still…stuck)

– “My Best Friend’s Toyotas”

The Recalls are a new hybrid of two new automotive genres, Japanese decline and American malaise. Whereas previous artists such as Chuck Berry and Bruce Springsteen celebrated the romance of the automobile and the call of the open road, the Recalls sing of faulty electronics systems and sticky floor mats.

Songs include “Let the Complaints Roll,” “Bye Bye Lexus,” “You’re All I’ve Killed Tonight,” “Just What I Bleeded” and “I’m in Touch With Your Customer Relations Department.”

This is the Recalls’ first CD and also their last, because all CDs have been recalled as well as the Recalls themselves.

A spokesman for the group said, “You have my personal commitment that we will work vigorously and unceasingly to restore the trust of the people we have the most contempt for. I mean, our customers.”

– Dr. Lester S. Carboni

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